Sex, reproduction, etc etc...

[Gonzo]

Originally posted by Spirit
That doesn't make it right.

I think that when we start to point our fingers and call people out for what we think they are, or for the wrong doings we think they are doing in/with thier lives, then we DO have the right to say, "you can not judge..."

There is no psycho-babble mentality. Just a huge amount of people who won't take RESPONSIBILITY.

sure it makes it right-without passing judgement, we are sheep tha blindly follow the flock-to the mill?

when their "wrongdoings" affect nobody else, who cares what they do-literally-it's unimportant. But, as soon as those actions have a direct affect on anothers life & a third party see's a direct threat to the child(in this case) then, yes-speak up & make them reconsider questionable actions. ie-why is okay to call the cops on a guy smoking pot in the park, but I become a judgemental asshole for telling some parent that because they want the bigger house & the bigger car & the trip to Tahiti this February, it's having a negative affect on Jr? Let's see, no dad or mom in the home, a stranger becomes the surrogate parent for 10 or 12 hours a day, but "we spend quality time together" BULLSHIT-quality time is in the middle of the day when the kid is watching space ghost & asks "mom, why is grandpa in heaven"-not going for ice cream once a week & then seeing a movie.

you nailed it right on the head-RESPONSIBILTY. That is lacking in our core fundamental ideals. the psycho-babble I refer to is, ask damn near any therapist & they will back up the "the parent must come first" mentality. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Upon birth, the job of a parent is to sustain life for said child, point them in a direction that allows growth & understanding, and teach them moral & ethical behaviour. you can't say "don't steal" & expect them to understand-shit, it is easier than working for a living. kids are naturally egotistical, it's in the very nature to do for "me"-how can a parent teach these things when they come home from work, kiss the kids, park the in front of the idiot box, make dinner, do laundry, straighten out the house, bathe the kids, get their stuff for school ready & tuck them in-there is no time for togetherness.

If children are wanted, take the responsibility to make sure that the environment is as good as it can be for their benefit-most successful people come from a poor background. But, most had both parents at home. One or both worked, but at the 3:10 bell at school, somebody was home to tend to them. responsibility is caring for your child, not paying someone else to do it.

 

[iron]

re the op

Sex is intense. Orgasm is one of the most physically intense, if not *the* most physically intense pleasure, we feel, Martha Stewart or pc types saying they get off more from a well-made flower arrangement or a childs art project not-withstanding.

We don't talk about being a criminal, the crime we just did.

If we kill people for a living, we don't talk about that.

We don't brag about how much dope we have to have to get through the day, or how much alchohol.

We don't talk about the time we accidently shit our pants or farted during the one date we had with the most beautiful woman in the world.

We don't talk about colostomy bags, being a pedophile, being overweight, or any other number of things.

Why?

Because they are intense issues, with possibly bad repercussions. They can make us cry, feel like we're standing naked in the middle of a parade, with our pants down around our ankles and our dicks are substandard, or that our bras are up around our shoulders and our tit's dont' measure up.

And everyone is laughing, and it's just because they have the same or similar shortcomings, but ours has been revealed, and their's are still hidden, so we're the deflection post. So we cry and we hate.

Sex is an intense issue, and I would warrant, not as satisfying for its participants as they would like, more often than not.

Who the hell want's to talk about that?

Say you're a father- 'well, son. I've never learned to hold myself long enough to satisfy your mother. So what happened was, I was too embarassed to ask her what else I could do to satisfy her sexually, and also too embarrassed to ask her to help me think of ways in which I might last longer. Ther bullshit the thereapists offered didn't work, indeed, I found out he wasn't even as good as me. So, I've never really had a very confident position regarding sex, so to speak, and over the years, I've tended to just poke it in, stroke a second or 3, climax, and be done. It's seemed to be the arrangement we've come to, and we have picked up other things we tell ourselves fulfill us as a couple.'

Or 'Gosh, I really like him, but man, he's sooo shitty in bed- doesn't he know he needs to wash under his balls? Man, talk about locker room air...but how can I tell him? I can't even tell Mary when she's got a booger that's showing in her nose, no way I can tell him this!'

Or 'Geezus her asshole smells- doesn't she know that if she has hair there, at the end of the day, there's gonna be some trace material that she needs to wash out with actual water? No way I'm putting my face there, but if I tell her, I'll get the coffee pot thrown at me. Shit, it's just easier to find another girlfriend...'

It's intensity, and since any occasion is an occasion for fear for Humans, the more intense ones generate the more intense fears-
go on, tell your lover al the things you ain't satisified with regarding their technique, their lack of a sense of adventure, their limpness or looseness- chances are you won't, unless it's as a weapon in an argument. Nope- most likely, you'll learn to live with it or find someone else, but you won't talk about it. And the longer it ain't talked about, the more weight it gets, the harder it *is* to talk about, till now, collectively, at a societal level, sex is a huge juggernaut, a blackhole that tends to scare one, and suck any desire to really discuss the problems one might be experiencing right out of them.

And this kind of reaction, by it's nature, perpetuates itself. It's a problem to begin with, and just perpetuates itself, and adds additional problematic adjuncts to the mix. We get around it by flirting, talking dirty, reading columns, looking at porn and figuring because someone has a magazine with dirty pictures that they write for, they must be an expert, or innumerable other ways.

There is a reluctance. It's problematic, and just gets worse- the concept of sexual harrassment wouldn't even exist if we were able to talk about sex in general conversation, like, say, renting an apartment....about the problems, the fixes, what's bullshit and what ain't, what works, what don't. Viewed that way, no way *could* you sexually harass someone, nor would you want to.

Courage to talk about it and practice talking about it are two things that can overcome it. It's far more complicated than that. But, in a sort of way, it's exactly as simple as that.

YMMV

iron

 

[75renegade]

The above "edited" postin' was pretty full of venom. I tend to spew a bit carelessly when I preceive that there maybe a concenses of folk whose philosophy changes dependin' on the level of acceptance of the group they're standin' next to.
After I considered what it might feel like to 'ave 'ad the level of "venom" I was then lettin' out aimed at me I decided, offering' grace instead of "judgement is always preferrable, least from my perspective..........
The above subject discussed 'appens to be one of great consumers of my mind an' emotion.
I was born a bastard to a mother who chose to go against the, then, "status-quo" that said it was best if she'd live in seclusion at a special shelter then give her child up fer adoption.
She chose the "hard" way........I'm so glad she did!
So this is why I 'ave a great deal of compassion fer the unwed mother who, (not in all cases, ofcourse), might 'ave actually loved a man who chose to operate by the direction of 'is wrong head.
The other side of this coin fer me has the inscription of a man who is a coward an' a liar who was unwillin' to take responsibility fer selfish actions that left a powerfully negative impact on others, (ie: my mother an' me, etc.....)
His cowardis an' deceipt I find fogivable, because of the grace I've received, but 'is unwillin'ness to face the truth in the face of the one's who've carried the shame an' the pain all these years, I find very tough to swallow!
I've now 'ad 5 "dad's.........1 sperm-donor, one largely univolved adoptive dad, an' 3 step-dad's. The idea of "lifetime" comittment 'as been a difficult idea fer me to really grasp but I've tried.......fer 13 years.......even she decided to quit (long story with 2 sides, ofcourse)
The pain of rejection is one of my deepest scars, so my humanness tends to lead me to take the poistion of "judge" when someone comes talkin' this whole "everythin's ok".
Ya know, "you got yer views, I got mine. Do what I want (even if it hurts others), an' I 'ave a "Right" to expect folk to accept it."
Hell, I think we're one of the very few countries in the world who 'ave the opportunity to pull off even a third of the shit we do with r sense of "freedom" an' self-idulgent behaviors..........
I'm with ya, Gonz.........Responsibility starts with "me"!
An' because r decisions so often affect the "whole", accountability is imperitive, fer us as individuals!

 

[nalani]

Hawaiians have a rather native view on sex and reproduction .. sex is first and foremost for reproduction - strengthening your family and people .. secondly, it's a vital function to keep you "stable" - it's a necessary part of life.

Like my mom says : "use it, or lose it"

(she's 68 years-old, btw )

 

[flurff]

I love to talk about sex. I don't have a girlfriend and I am a hormone-driven little bitch, I wank a lot usually while thinking about any of the girls here, and I'm very open about that. I think that if people would be more open about sex and not regard it as such a giggly topic, there would be a lot less molestation, rape, sexual abuse, etc etc.

If everyone weren't so afraid to admit that they masturbate a lot, if everyone wouldn't be ashamed of imperfect bodies, because nobody is perfect, if everyone weren't so ashamed to talk about sex, the world would be a better place.

*wank*

 

[flurff]

The Flurffmeister™ is very open and honest about his sexuality

I'd love to do all the ladies here

See? I'm not ashamed to talk about sex