What do you do when you think you love someone but you're not sure? I've been with this person for quite awhile (like over 19 months) and he is always getting on my nerves. I broke up with him about an hour ago. Sometimes I feel like I hate him SO much but sometimes I love him even though I hate him. I don't know what to do and I was wondering if anyoen could help me. I'm pretty sure I want to remain broken up but I don't know for sure.
I need help please
- Thread starter Confused
- Start date
First off, welcome to xibase... 
Secondly, if you both love each other enough to love although he may get on your nerves at times, then you might think about trying to work out your problems together. If it got to a point where you became so frustrated with him, that hints towards there being a bit of miscommunication (bop me on the head if I'm wrong
).
I'm no expert on that thing they call love, but if there's one thing I know about, it's miscommunication (I should know, there was plenty of it in the limited experience I've had at it)
Miscommunication -> Stress -> Frustration -> Anger -> Pain
If you really want to make the relationship work, try to find some common ground where you can start to reconcile your differences. Remain, above all, communicative, it is the one and only key to maintaining a relationship.
As to whether you want to remain broken up is up to you. Nobody but yourself can convince you otherwise.
Secondly, if you both love each other enough to love although he may get on your nerves at times, then you might think about trying to work out your problems together. If it got to a point where you became so frustrated with him, that hints towards there being a bit of miscommunication (bop me on the head if I'm wrong
).I'm no expert on that thing they call love, but if there's one thing I know about, it's miscommunication (I should know, there was plenty of it in the limited experience I've had at it)
Miscommunication -> Stress -> Frustration -> Anger -> Pain
If you really want to make the relationship work, try to find some common ground where you can start to reconcile your differences. Remain, above all, communicative, it is the one and only key to maintaining a relationship.
As to whether you want to remain broken up is up to you. Nobody but yourself can convince you otherwise.
Hiya Confused, welcome!fury pretty mumch hit the nail on the head, I think. The only thing I might add is, perhaps a short seperation might be in order, to sort out your own feelings and let him think about his. If, after you don't see each other for a week or two and you still feel you want to be with him, then the communication is the biggest thing you prolly need to work on. However, if , after that week or two, you decide your life is easier without him....move on to the next man. Contrary to popular belief, there are alot of good ones out there.
Keep us posted
p.s you won't be confused forever, so if you decide to change that, fury's the man to talk to
Well, thank you guys. After wandering around here for awhile like a dog who lost her bone I finally got up the nerve to call him. We both agreed that we have a vicious cycle where we are happy, then unhappy, then I go to end it but feel bad about hurting him so then we stay together and are happy for a few months and then unhappy, etc. Now that we have both recognized this we are going to sit down and see what we can do about breaking that cycle so we're always happy (obviously we'll have fights, etc. but I mean be generally happy instead of going through months of unhappiness).
Keep one thing in mind, the circle seldomly gets broken. So, you need to decide if you want this the rest of this week, year or your life. The entire point of dating is to weed out the nuts, figure out if the okay are great or just okay. It's your life, you decide how to live it.
Peace & long life will follow great decisions.
Peace & long life will follow great decisions.
unclehobart
this is my special title
odd... a cut and paste speech used both here and on JJRs. Same typos and everything. I wonder...
Ok, I goofed and posted as Confused when I meant to be me (in another thread) so I guess the secret is out. It is I. I was just looking for unbias advice not trying to be tricky or anything. brainsoft and I are back together. We sat down and talked and realized we have a major communication problem among other things. We are trying to work things out, no promises one way or the other.
Thank You for all your advice btw
Thank You for all your advice btw
75renegade
Official Wine Taster
Don't know if this shoe fits ya or not, so if it doesn't, jus' duck an' let it fly right over yer head, But ya might try stayin' outta each other's beds fer awile, while tryin' to sort this thing out fer yerselves. 'Least fer me, sex always complicates an' confuses a "touch an' go" type situation like ya've made yers sound. Emotions r powerful influences, an' powerfully deceptive. Bein' together intimately tends to fuel a persons emotions, which fer me, 'as made it much more difficult to make choices which r truely good an' healthy fer me.
Kinda sounds to me like ya already 'ave some significant evidence to support the case fer goin' yer seperate ways, but perhaps because ya 'ave a history together, er somethin', ya seem afraid to persue the possiblity that ya'd really be happier jus' movin on.
A friend once told me that when considerin' a possible choice fer a life-mate, "Dont' marry the one ya think ya can live with................instead marry the one ya think ya can't live without."
Best wishes fer the both of ya, darlin'!
Kinda sounds to me like ya already 'ave some significant evidence to support the case fer goin' yer seperate ways, but perhaps because ya 'ave a history together, er somethin', ya seem afraid to persue the possiblity that ya'd really be happier jus' movin on.
A friend once told me that when considerin' a possible choice fer a life-mate, "Dont' marry the one ya think ya can live with................instead marry the one ya think ya can't live without."
Best wishes fer the both of ya, darlin'!
Tancogeistla
New Member
Saurian behavior often replicates from the origin. In as much as rhetoric placed through despondency is traversed through denunciation of said behavior, melancholy often produces contempt of the significant other. Dip your cookies in an rabid praxis to attract the youngsters’ attention, young lady.